1 00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:44,209 Da-la da-la da daa 2 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:49,041 After a long hike like that, I'm ready to pitch camp and hit the sack ! 3 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:55,518 - I can still see the bus stop from here ! - This looks like a good spot ! A natural... 4 00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:59,180 - Shit hole ! - Yeah, shit... No, no, no ! 5 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:03,796 A natural hollow in the lee of the wind. Fresh water supply. 6 00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:08,093 The wind coming from... Cor ! Dear, oh, dear ! 7 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:12,204 You'd think people would have more control over their dogs ! Look at that ! 8 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:17,803 It must've been a Great Dane ! We can't camp here ! We're not French ! 9 00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:23,313 Hi-de-ho, on we go ! No rest for the hygienic ! Dear, oh, dear, who'd be English ? 10 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:28,787 Yeah, this is much better here ! A much more likely spot ! 11 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,784 - This is great, isn't it ? - What ? 12 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,427 - This ! - No. 13 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:42,132 You poor, sad, deformed urban pustule. This is real life ! 14 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,703 Nature, struggle, destiny ! Where's your romance ? 15 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:51,504 She works in Sketchley's on Saturday. I should be going out with her tonight. 16 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:55,114 That's a point. I can get to the chemist before they shut. 17 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:58,910 Stay where you are, Judas ! Where's your sense of adventure ? 18 00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:03,249 - Now, SHE'S in Chiswick ! - No, I mean, where's your SPUNK ! 19 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:08,053 No, no, no ! Let's just avoid that line of questioning, shall we ? 20 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:12,494 Come on, Eddie, we don't need birds. 21 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:17,693 Besides, we'll lose that bet with Mad Ken that we can live rough for a week. 22 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:21,500 We haven't got 50 quid and I'd rather hang on to my kneecaps ! 23 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:23,970 A week ?! 24 00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:29,448 Ah... I was hoping to break that to you at a more opportune moment. 25 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,607 A bloody week ?! 26 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:36,221 I wasn't the one who bet him he couldn't stick a dart in his temple ! 27 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:41,983 - Having done that, he had us over a barrel ! - I only have enough underwear for tonight ! 28 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,393 - That's all you've ever had ! - That's true. 29 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,867 We're stuck with it, so stop moaning ! Let's get the tent up. 30 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:55,030 - Alexander the Great never had this problem. - HE wasn't a complete dickhead ! 31 00:02:55,942 --> 00:03:03,075 Right, that's it, that's it ! Yes ! I've been doing evening classes in jujitsu, you know ! 32 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:07,852 You should've done 'em in Hammersmith and saved money on the bus fares ! 33 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,994 What great mates we are ! 34 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:23,332 Jujitsu, Hammersmith - marvellous ! Come on, let's get the tent right up ! 35 00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:37,310 Right, well, that's the toilet tent. Where do we sleep ? 36 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:43,786 Ha-ha-ha I'm about to blow my trousers off in merriment at Eddie's sarcasm 37 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:48,724 - You mean that's the whole tent ? - Eddie, this isn't just a tent. 38 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:53,628 This is a World-Ranger Storm-Buster 4. You can go anywhere in that. 39 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:58,601 - We will as soon as the breeze gets up. - Hey, don't knock it. 40 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:05,142 - You'll be glad of this when the bomb drops. - You think that'll withstand a nuclear blast ? 41 00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:08,678 Well, you'll be sleeping in it tonight, so we'll find out ! 42 00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:14,884 - Wait a minute. We're both gonna sleep in this ? - Yes. 43 00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:22,961 - We'll be very close, won't we ? - Our sleeping bags will keep us... respectable. 44 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:28,260 What's this all about ? The last thing I remember was ordering two pints of mild. 45 00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:32,033 - I've got my sleeping bag. - Where's mine ?! 46 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:37,336 - The last I heard, she was in Chiswick ! - So there's only one sleeping bag ? 47 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:41,412 - It would appear so, yes. - Oh, I get it. 48 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:46,109 I'm not trying to trick you into a nudie sauce romp, believe me ! 49 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:51,417 - I'd rather stick my genitals in a bees' nest. - Kinky. 50 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:57,594 - How am I kinky ? - You wanna stick your genitals in a bees' nest. 51 00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:02,098 No, I don't. That's the whole point. It's sarcasm, it's... 52 00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:07,763 The point is that, though sticking one's genitals in a bees' nest is stupendously un-nice, 53 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:12,536 it's preferable to having a squidgy sleeping bag session with you ! 54 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:17,274 Can we just get our equipment out ? I mean, get our tackle out ! 55 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,044 No, I mean get our gear... Oh, God ! 56 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:24,212 You can't say anything without some double entendre lurking around the corner ! 57 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:28,019 Shall we just unpack and get dinner on the go ? All right ? 58 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,758 I bet you forgot the tin opener ! I despair, I really do ! 59 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:38,393 I give you one little obligation and what do you do ? You forget it ! 60 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:44,407 Well, that's where you're wrong because - ha ha ha ha-ha - here it is ! 61 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:49,810 - Right, where are the tins ? - Shit ! Shit ! 62 00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:55,545 You stupid bastard ! Why did you make me forget them ? We're gonna starve to death ! 63 00:05:55,722 --> 00:06:01,854 - We are going to starve to death ! - I've got a packet of Chocolate Hobnobs. 64 00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:05,355 Oh, thank God ! 65 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:09,968 - Oh, Eddie, we're saved ! - What do you mean, "we" ? 66 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:14,937 - I'm all right. I don't fancy your chances. - Oh, have a heart, Eddie. 67 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,338 It's your old pal - Richie. 68 00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,740 Exactly ! Bugger off ! 69 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,084 Right... Eddie ? Eddie ? 70 00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:47,291 What was that film where they ate each other ? 71 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,197 "Deep Throat", wasn't it ? 72 00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,668 Yeah, that's right. 73 00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,042 Great, wasn't it ? 74 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:05,575 - Anyway, back to the question of food. - Oh, yeah. 75 00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:10,279 - Hang on, this is Wimbledon Common, isn't it ? - Ye-es. 76 00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:13,857 Hey... I wonder how much meat you get on a Womble. 77 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:22,360 - Eddie, Wombles don't exist. - Yes, they do. I've seem them on the telly. 78 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:27,599 Would it scar you for life if I told you they were just puppets ? 79 00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:31,937 - Yes, it would. - Good. Eddie, they were just puppets ! 80 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,909 - Well, what's THAT, then ? - Ahhh ! 81 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:40,348 - Eddie, that is a hedgehog. - No, it's not. That is Great Uncle Bulgaria. 82 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:46,315 Then the series has taken a sad turn for the worse, 'cause he's in the nude ! 83 00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,985 Ohhh, the Wombles have gone X-rated ! 84 00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:55,031 Pop your insane leaking brain back in its sponge bag for an instant and concentrate. 85 00:08:56,035 --> 00:09:00,369 Womble or not... THAT is our supper. 86 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,874 - It'll be a bit spiky, won't it ? - Red Indians eat them. 87 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,673 Is that why they run around going "Owww !" ? 88 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:14,518 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie... you're so soi-disant. 89 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,290 Red Native Americans do not run around going "Waaaaah !" 90 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,584 Ridiculous ! They run around going "How !" 91 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:28,393 They run around going, "How the bloody hell can we eat that spiky hedgehog ?" 92 00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:34,037 No, they say, "How lovely that spiky hedgehog meal was, Mrs Sitting Bull. 93 00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:37,869 "We must do the same next Tuesday. How's Roger's prep school ?" 94 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:42,777 - What the bloody hell are you talking about ?! - It's a different social strata. 95 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,474 Now... how are we gonna kill it ? 96 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:48,381 Well, you could bore it to death. 97 00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:52,921 Righto. No ! Hmm... 98 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:58,257 It's all academic now. He's buggered off. Oh, no, there he is - in the thicket ! 99 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,456 This is it ! Er... OK, right. 100 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:04,364 I know ! Let's entice him out with a Chocolate Hobnob ! 101 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:10,066 Great idea ! Then, when he's out in the open, we'll surround him and finish him off ! 102 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:14,679 We need to gather some sticks and lash them together to fashion some sort of rifle ! 103 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,375 - I wonder what the pygmies do. - They say, "Crikey, isn't everything big ?" 104 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:25,085 It's no wonder they're dying out, then. Ohh, hang on ! 105 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,156 I've got my darts... 106 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,896 ...and we could use this as a blowpipe ! 107 00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:35,830 Oh, yes ! Oh, Eddie, yes ! Darts and a blowpipe ! Very rainforest ! 108 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,432 I wish Sting was here to see this. 109 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:42,472 Right, here we go. 110 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:48,012 If we're going to do this properly, we have to have some proper Amazon Indian names. 111 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:52,674 - Come on ! Before he goes off to meet Orinoco ! - Shut up, Eddie ! This is important. 112 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:59,519 It's gotta be eagle-y with a dash of running dog and a hint of being attractive to women. 113 00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:02,183 Hmm... what about Neville ? 114 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:10,829 That is brilliant ! Running Neville ! No, no ! Sitting Neville ! No, no, Squatting Neville ! 115 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:14,973 - Come on, he's getting away ! - All right, don't hustle me ! 116 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:19,737 - I don't like it, but we'll go with Pocahontas. - All right, Hoggatipunctus, entice him out. 117 00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:24,781 - Right ! Hey, don't forget to make the noise. - Arrrghhhhhhhhhhh ! 118 00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:27,877 He's buggered off. 119 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:31,217 - No, there he is ! By that tree ! - Right, let's go ! 120 00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:34,450 Do you think we should do this in our underpants ? 121 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:41,366 It'll be really Indiany. We could get hankies and put them down the front and back like flaps... 122 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,633 Stupid idea, isn't it ? We haven't got any hankies. 123 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:49,400 Hang on ! We could use some pages from the "Evening Standard" ! 124 00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:54,342 A big flap down the front and back ! We'll get our biros out and doodle on our nip... 125 00:11:56,315 --> 00:12:00,251 Well, take your point. It's a bit chilly, isn't it ? 126 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,216 Right, then... Ahem !...let's hunt. 127 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:07,751 Mrs Tiggywinkle... Mrs Tiggywinkle ! 128 00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,952 It's not working. Ah ! 129 00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:15,431 Mr Tiggywinkle ! Yum yum ! Eddie, he's broken cover ! Let him have it ! 130 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,931 - Did I get him ? - No, you missed. 131 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,870 - Damn ! - Eddie, old chum. 132 00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:27,945 - Yes, me old mate ? - Pull this dart out the back of my head. 133 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:30,173 Blimey, how did that get there ? 134 00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:33,477 I've no idea. Hurry. I'm losing my eyesight. 135 00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,734 - Richie... - Mm ? 136 00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,270 You've put the fire out now. 137 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,273 Eddie, there's a fish in there ! 138 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,041 There he is ! Let him have it ! 139 00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:08,585 - Go and get him. - No, I'll just hang around on the shore. 140 00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:14,488 - Oh, come on, he's only a fish. - Yes, but my hand is attached to this boulder. 141 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:34,335 - Right... give me the blowpipe. - Yep. I'm very sorry, Richie. 142 00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:36,572 - Give me the dart. - Here you go. 143 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,580 Right. 144 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,345 - Go and stand over there. - Fair enough. 145 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,456 - Slap me ! - Beg your pardon ? 146 00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:56,567 - Slap me ! - Oh ! I like this game ! 147 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,208 You've got a dart in there. Did you know that ? 148 00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:09,075 - You have got a dart in there ! - Get it out ! 149 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,279 I beg your pardon ? 150 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,983 Get it out ! 151 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:20,785 - Kinky ! - The dart ! 152 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,342 I don't think we're really cut out for this dart-blowing business. 153 00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:43,709 The only thing that's eaten anything is the bloody hedgehog. 154 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:47,683 There's only one Hobnob left. That's 27 Hobnobs he's had. 155 00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:51,220 No wonder he shits like a Great Dane ! 156 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:57,455 - Hey, why don't we have a go at that fish ? - But we haven't got a rod ! 157 00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,031 Let's use your vest as a net ! 158 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,795 - Would I have to be in it ? - Give us the vest. 159 00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:15,911 Right, get the stove nice and hot. Stand back, Moby, here I come ! 160 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:28,158 - Have you caught anything yet ? - Yes, I probably have caught something. 161 00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,826 It's quite a love nest round here, you know. 162 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,616 Oh, look, great ! Eddie, I've landed one ! 163 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,185 She is a beauty ! 164 00:15:55,354 --> 00:16:02,021 - Nice one, Richie ! - Look at her ! She must be THAT big ! 165 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:08,360 Quite the little battler, yeah. I'm... afraid we lost the net in the conflict. 166 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:14,298 - You mean my vest is in the pond. - Is the stove lit yet ? 167 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,338 Half. 168 00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,671 - Half ? - Yeah. Have you seen the matches ? 169 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:23,281 - No. You could try rubbing a stick together. - Hmm. 170 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,009 It's a tad more urgent than that. 171 00:16:27,686 --> 00:16:33,181 Oh, all right, all right, you can use my briquette. 172 00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:36,453 Don't keep your finger pressed down longer than a second ! 173 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,267 - The stove's lit. - Nice one. 174 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,466 Let's get Moby under the grill. I'm famished. 175 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,683 Is it done, then ? 176 00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,919 I think so. They don't take long, do they ? 177 00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:14,589 We just eat it straight off the ground ? Is that safe ? 178 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:18,794 You and your hygiene ! We're in the countryside. We've got everything we need. 179 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:22,429 We'll wash it in the lake - fresh mountain stream. 180 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:25,202 It'll be lovely ! 181 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:28,710 You pick it up. It's a bit near the dog shit. 182 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,616 Lost a bit. 183 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:50,196 - Which end's the head, do you think ? - Give it to country boy. I'll divide it up. 184 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:54,738 It's bound to be one end or the other. Er... there ! Heads or tails ? 185 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:59,037 We can't do that. I'll have the black bit, you have the flaky bit. 186 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,846 Good health ! 187 00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:13,221 That was disgusting ! 188 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,391 - You not eating yours, Eddie ? - No, I'm keeping it. 189 00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:21,294 What for ? 190 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,698 - Evidence. - Come on, you've got to get some nutrition. 191 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:29,671 I'm all right. I've got half a bottle of Scotch. I know whose side I'm on. 192 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:33,938 Yes ! Let's get boozy and sit around the fire singing dirty rugby songs ! 193 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,776 Yeah ! Right... here we go ! 194 00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:42,618 Oh, well. First shot to me. 195 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:56,033 - There you go. - All right. 196 00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:58,601 Oh, I'm going crazy ! 197 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:02,103 OK, dirty rugby songs ! Let's go ! Er... 198 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,468 Twinkle, twinkle, little... 199 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:09,307 Oh, it's not very dirty, that one, is it ? Eddie ? Oh, Eddie ! 200 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:14,441 Oh, Eddie, don't pass out already ! You'll miss out on all the fun. 201 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,919 - What fun ? - Yes, I suppose that's a point. 202 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:22,026 When you come to think of it, nothing much happens in the country. 203 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:43,708 You wonder why they do it, really, don't you ? I mean... with something as small as that. 204 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:46,612 Mine's bigger than that and mine's tiny ! 205 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,117 Ish. Tiny-ish. 206 00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:57,818 Oh, well... time for bed. 207 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,163 It's only 5.30. 208 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:06,396 This is the country. You know what they say - "A cuckoo in May, oo-arr, oo-arr-eyy !" 209 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:11,900 Right, well... 210 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,170 Here we are, Edward. 211 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:18,783 Are you sure you didn't sneak a peek at my underpants ? 212 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:22,819 Absolutely, Richie. I give you my word of honour. 213 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:28,187 I didn't get even the slightest glimpse of your gaudily-stained love blob containers. 214 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:33,525 All right. Good. Well, nighty-night, then. 215 00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:45,868 What do you normally do when you go to bed ? 216 00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:51,212 - I normally have a bit of a kip. - You're so concise. 217 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:55,285 - I mean, what's your going-to-bed routine ? - Ah, routine. 218 00:20:55,454 --> 00:21:00,619 Well, I normally get into bed... and then I have a bit of a kip. 219 00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,319 I wonder what's on telly right now. 220 00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:10,359 Probably missing "Emmerdale Farm". 221 00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:15,302 Matt'll have his arm up some cow's backside by now. Lucky bugger ! 222 00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:20,672 We'll miss the "Late Show", of course. 223 00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:24,839 Cor ! That bird in the red specs ! 224 00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,514 Are you carrying a torch for her ? 225 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:35,455 - No, it's just the way my trousers rucked up. - Oh... oh. 226 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,066 What are you reading, Eddie ? 227 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:45,294 I dunno. I'm too drunk to focus. 228 00:21:46,738 --> 00:21:48,603 I'm bored now. 229 00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:55,639 - Ever been hang-gliding, Eddie ? - Nope. 230 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,009 No, nor me. 231 00:21:58,183 --> 00:22:00,344 Well, that's exhausted that one. 232 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,788 - I can't think of anything else to talk about. - Night-night, then ! 233 00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:13,363 Yes, I suppose so. Night-night, sleep tight. Hope the bed bugs do not bite. 234 00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:17,468 If they do, do a poo, put it in a Cornish stew ! 235 00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:21,997 Into the ambulance, dring, dring, dring ! Fish, trousers, elephant in Peking ! 236 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:27,305 Saw a busy bee, diddle-diddle-dee ! Daddy's an accountant just me like ! Night-night. God bless. 237 00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:32,780 I'm still not asleep, you know. 238 00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:40,115 You know, I think it's this sleeping bag. It's letting in a draught. 239 00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:43,517 Oh, my heart bleeds 240 00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:47,256 Come on, Eddie, I'm more sensitive than you are. 241 00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:52,369 Do us a favour, old pal. Grab my drawstring and give it a bloody good yank. 242 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:56,700 - I beg your pardon ? - Here, here. 243 00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:03,308 OK, fine, fine ! Good. 244 00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:07,509 Ah, right. Night-night, then. 245 00:23:07,686 --> 00:23:12,714 No, no, no ! Put the light out, Eddie, would you ? 246 00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:25,160 I can't get out. I'll have to do it myself. 247 00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:32,105 Oh, oh ! 248 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,216 Oh, God, who'd be me ? 249 00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,978 Night-night, then, world. 250 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,497 Eddie ! Eddie ! 251 00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:00,331 There's someone outside doing owl impressions ! 252 00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:06,977 Not very good ones either. Eddie ? 253 00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:12,616 - Ahhhhhhh ! - No, Eddie, no ! 254 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,654 - What are you doing that for ? I was dreaming. - It sounded harrowing. 255 00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:27,663 No, I was in bed with Kim Basinger. It was fantastic ! 256 00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:31,166 Let's get back to sleep very quickly ! 257 00:24:33,438 --> 00:24:38,205 - Where the bloody hell am I ? - Calm down, you're in a tent. 258 00:24:38,376 --> 00:24:43,336 - Eddie, I think there's something outside. - Yeah. 259 00:24:43,515 --> 00:24:46,575 There's bound to be something outside. 260 00:24:46,751 --> 00:24:49,515 You can't expect the entire universe 261 00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:53,784 to be contained within the confines of a small canvas tent. 262 00:24:54,993 --> 00:25:00,363 - You're very philosophical for this time of night. - After all that Scotch, what do you expect ? 263 00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:03,194 - Listen ! 264 00:25:03,368 --> 00:25:08,499 I'm serious ! I'm getting a sense of something magnificently evil, black and foul 265 00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:10,834 hanging in the air, waiting to destroy us ! 266 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:14,001 That'll be the fish repeating on you. 267 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:18,411 - There it is again ! What do you think it is ? 268 00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:21,347 A wolf... a bear ? 269 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:25,652 - Wombles ! - WOMBLES ! 270 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:34,894 Eddie, why don't we bring the fire inside the tent to ward them off ? 271 00:25:35,066 --> 00:25:38,866 - That'd be a bit dangerous, wouldn't it ? - No, it's gone out. 272 00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:42,495 - Well, what's the point, then ? - Oh, yes, silly me. 273 00:25:42,674 --> 00:25:48,135 Hey, hey, hey ! Why don't we light a small fire inside the tent ? 274 00:25:48,313 --> 00:25:51,077 - All right, just a small one. - You know me ! 275 00:25:51,249 --> 00:25:53,717 - A itsy-bitsy, teeny one. - Good old Eddie. 276 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,376 Now, where's the paraffin ? 277 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,284 Here we go. 278 00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:01,815 Don't drink it ! We need that ! 279 00:26:04,329 --> 00:26:08,629 - Stand well back. - I can't get out of this bloody sleeping bag ! 280 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,961 - Here we go. - No, change of plan ! 281 00:26:14,272 --> 00:26:17,730 Nice one ! That should ward 'em off 282 00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:25,872 Eddie, look ! Help me get out of this sleeping bag ! 283 00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:28,915 There's no time ! 284 00:26:36,027 --> 00:26:37,790 No, no ! 285 00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:48,337 AHHHHHHHH ! 286 00:26:57,916 --> 00:27:02,751 Right, well, that's about it for me. I'm off. 287 00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:09,953 - Are you not coming ? - I can't move, can I ? 288 00:27:10,996 --> 00:27:13,157 That's a point. 289 00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,293 Eddie... no !